


Once more, with Feeling

by Lexilindale35



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Mating Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 06:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8879584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexilindale35/pseuds/Lexilindale35
Summary: Cassian is super adorable in bed with Nesta.
Cute mating bond fluff.





	

Nesta wasn't even sure when they started doing this. One minute she thought she hated the brute and the next she had fallen into his bed. After the cauldron she thought she could never feel anything but hatred and anger again. And yet there was Cassian, always trying to make her smile. Always trying to make her believe in herself again, even when he didn’t believe in himself. 

It had taken some time but he had gotten to her. She started spending time with him, going flying and learning to fight. Slowly she stopped hating him. Now she couldn't get enough of him. He had taken her flying earlier, it was one of their daily activities. Now they had been at it for the better part of an hour. She had already come twice, yet Cassian was still holding on.

"One more," he whispered as he leaned down and kissed her cheeks. His lips were soft as they brushed over her nose, "come once more for me love."

Nesta's legs were shaking, her fingers had sliced tiny wounds in his forearms from the first round of pleasure. She was so sensitive, she wasn't sure she could do anything but shake as he continued to move inside her.

She gasped as he hit her most sensitive spot, "I can't. Cass," her words were a jumble of air. He moved slowly, leaning down and kissing her as her heart sped up. She would never get enough of him kissing her, touching her. She craved it even when they fell asleep in different rooms. He was her safe place, the only thing she found comfort in in this new world of hers.

As much as she hated to admit it, she needed Cassian.

His wings were spread out above her. They sparkled in the dying sunlight that filtered in from the window. They were beautiful, even more so now that they were healed. Nesta knew it was those moments, when he was broken and beyond reach to anyone but her, that had brought them together. Because he had been in a place only she understood. He had believed he wasn't worthy of anything, even life. And she was the one to pull him back, she was the voice of reason that made me want to live again.

"I love you," he whispered against her temple.

Her body started to shake even more. He knew this was her undoing. His hips moving slower, his deep voice whispering sweet words to her. She wasn't supposed to touch his wings, but he was allowed to do whatever it took to make her fall apart. She felt the tension, she didn't realize she had been so wound up until this moment.

Nesta's eyes filled with tears, her entire body shook, her back arched off the bed. Her nails dug into the grooves that were already there on his arms as she fell apart for the third time. Cassian smiled, it was the smile of a satisfied male, as her pleasure rushed through her, his name a prayer falling off her lips.

"Cassian," she gasped as he moved faster, his hands setting her on fire everywhere he touched. She moaned, "gods Cassian."

"That's it love," he pushed deeper and her toes curled, her eyes rolled backwards. He loved watching her fall apart underneath him.

Halfway through her third orgasm Cassian followed. Her body shook harder as he spilled himself inside of her. He loved this part, that she let him and only him leave a piece of himself inside of her. He was the only one Nesta allowed to see like this. The only male who had ever gotten close enough to make her scream his name not once, not twice, but three times in one hour.

They were both panting as their highs wore off. Cassian laid down beside Nesta, pulling her into his arms. She kissed him, with what little strength she had left. Her eyes were heavy, she was always exhausted after a round like tonight. It satisfied Cassian to no end, it stroked his pride, that he could make a female as beautiful and closed off as Nesta, as satisfied as she was in his bed.

It was no secret to anyone else in this house that he loved her. Nesta was still scared of the words, of the feelings that came along with him. But Cassian told her every chance he got that he loved her and he would love her even if she never whispered those three words back. Because she was there, she was the voice that pulled him out of the dark depression that followed the ruining of his precious wings.

Nesta wanted to love him, apart of her already did. But she knew that with love came hope and expectations. With love came disappointment. Nesta wouldn’t survive this new world if he walked away from her once the feelings were there. She would never be able to love anyone, male or female, if she offered him her heart and he crushed it without a second thought.

She still kept herself at a distance. She let him in, but only into the space she opened up for him. It was getting bigger, she was giving him more and more with every day they spent together. But Nesta was still holding onto the girl she once was. The girl who was afraid of anything that involved feelings and life changing decisions. 

Nesta closed her eyes as Cassian held her close. She ran the tip of her finger down his chest and wondered if she would ever allow herself to love someone the way she loved her sister. She wanted to love Cassian, she wanted to belong to him in all the ways her sister belonged to Rhysand. But she was still scared of losing everything.

She was terrified of losing herself.

"I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow," she whispered as her head found its place on his chest.

He laughed, his fingers drawing circles along her spine, "then my job is done," Nesta blew out a laugh as Cassian kissed the top of her head, "don't worry love. If you can't walk, I'll carry you."

\---

Nesta woke up first the next morning. Cassian was still sound asleep and her body was sore in all the right places. She looked at him laying there, snoring softly and that's when she felt it. A word, a meaning, it was a fire that had been lit deep inside her body. It pulsed in rhythm with her heart, and in turn with his.

Nesta's eyes went wide, her mouth went dry. Her heart was beating at the same pace as his and then all at once it hit her. His scent had wrapped around hers and he wasn't just there beside her. He was inside her body, her mind, her soul. This warrior, who's wings had barely healed, who had promised to protect her no matter what, was hers.

"My mate," she whispered softly, the thread she never even knew had been there turned to steel. It connected their hearts, their minds. They were suddenly one and the same, she was suddenly scared out of her mind.

Nesta stood up on her shaky legs and pulled his shirt on over her naked body. She walked out into the kitchen and made herself some tea. She remembered the tradition, Feyre had explained everything about mates to Nesta when Elain had found Lucien. She knew what happened next. She knew it would be her choice to accept or deny this bound.

She always hated the idea of being forced to belong to someone. But Cassian never forced her into his bed. It was always her choice. He might be a big brute with an even bigger ego, but he was the sweetest man Nesta had ever known. He encouraged her with sweet whispers, in bed and out. He held her close, kissed her neck. He was a marshmallow, he was hers.

Her heart pounded as she started to make breakfast. She wanted this. She wanted him. Every flight they took, every fight they had, had led them here to this moment. Because Nesta could never belong to anyone else. No one had the courage or patience to deal with her fire. Not the way Cassian did. She belonged to him, even before this bond had snapped into place.

They were two halves of a whole. 

So for once in her life Nesta stopped listening to the voice inside her head, the one that told her this was a bad idea, that this wasn’t going to work. She stopped listening to the doubts and the fears that followed her everywhere. She decided to embrace this change, to accept it and let whatever happened, happen. Because she belonged to Cassian, in a way she always had.

Nesta jumped as his hands wrapped around her waist from behind. He pressed a warm kiss against her shoulder and then he went stiff.

"Nesta," he breathed her name against her skin and she turned off the stove. Before she could turn around his hands tightened against her hips and she could feel his needs, his desire. She could feel every ounce of love inside his body. The love he had felt for her ever since they met. Even when she was human. 

Finally she turned around. She laid her hand on his heart, "its me," she whispered softly, "right there inside your heart. Mates."

The smile that spread across his face was more beautiful than any smile she had ever seen. He looked at her, kept staring at her, as if he was waiting for her to disappear. Cassian couldn't quiet understand how this had happened. How his fiery and uncontrollable Nesta was standing here in his arms, declaring them mates.

But he felt it. The pulse, the bond. He felt her and he never wanted it to stop.

"You don't have to accept this," he whispered, afraid of rushing her into something she wasn't ready for. He was always trying to protect her, always trying to be the man no one knew he was, "we can still be whatever it is we are. But just know I love you, I want you. Bond or no bond."

Nesta stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his. She kissed him as hard as the first time they had found themselves in this position. Cassian's arms wound around her waist and he pulled her close. Her hand was still pressed against his heart. 

When she pulled away his eyes were bright, "I love you too, Cass. And I want this, I want you. I'm not that broken girl you met at the start of this war. You, you've helped me heal. You've changed a part of my heart I never even thought was possible to change. You're mine," she growled the last words.

"I'm yours," he whispered, his smile still there as they came together once more.

Nesta almost forgot about the food. But the smell made her stomach growl and she pulled back, "I made you breakfast."

Cassian's eyes filled with tears as she pulled away and put the eggs and toast on a plate. He watched her as she brought it over to the table and waited for him to follow. He sat down in the chair, his hands shaking as he looked up at her. She didn't lose her smile, he could feel her waiting for him to believe this was real.

Before he could take a bite he pulled her onto his lap. Nesta laughed as her legs fell over his and she rolled her eyes, "if you're going to be such a baby let me help you."

She picked up the fork and scooped a mouthful of eggs onto the end. She turned and offered them to him. He opened his mouth, his eyes on her, as he took the bite and sealed their fate. Nesta smiled as she took her own bite of his food, then offered him more.

Nesta sat on his lap the entire time he ate everything she had made. She smiled as she felt the thrumming of the bond, it pulsed against her heart. She leaned into him, pressing a kiss along his jaw.

"So I think you've still got work to do," she whispered softly in his ear, "because I am still walking today."

Cassian snapped to attention as the words sunk in. The bond demanded him to take her right here, right now. But they were in the townhouse, where Rhys and Feyre would come home soon. He looked at her lust filled eyes and smiled.

He stood up and carried her back to their bedroom. Nesta laughed as he shut the door and sent a note to their high lord and lady, telling them not to bother them for a few days. Nesta didn't realize it until she heard him say it, but she never wanted to leave this room. She never wanted to be without him.

The war could wait for a few days, a few hours. For now they found themselves a bubble, Cassian's wings shielded them from the real world while they offered their hearts, their souls to each other in a way only mates could. They needed this hope, this moment. 

Cassian's lips traveled down her body and Nesta closed her eyes. It had taken twenty some years for her to smile without pain. It had taken her entire life for her to find somewhere she finally belonged. She should've realized her home would never be one place. Her home was here, in Cassian's arms. Her home was his heart, and she would carry it beside her own for the rest of their days.


End file.
